Want to take a stab at my query?

Well, I posted my query over critique forums and got pretty good feedback but I thought it wouldn't hurt to see what you guys think. Is it at all gripping? Does it suck? Do you hate the idea? Be honest, I won't block you lol. I will appreciate the honesty because in the long run its help :)

Dear Agent,

Raised by his father to hate humans, Vitiosus is a dark Lassertian warrior feared by all. He secretly rescues humans from torture being inflicted upon them by his father’s army, only to see them murdered. His search for peace halts when he learns of his human mother, and that his impure blood could cost him his ambitions, his life, and the hopes of his nation.


Being the prince won’t help Vitiosus when he falls in love with Tiya, an imprisoned human girl. A group of rebels who threaten to attack the Lassertian kingdom see Vitiosus’ love for Tiya and take her hostage. Now Vitiosus has no way out except to surrender to the rebels, but on his way he meets with his long time adversary, Gabriel, a warrior on a mission to bring the Lassertian Prince to his queen dead or alive. During the ensuing battle, he discovers that Gabriel is his human brother. Now he must decide… to trust Gabriel and create a connection between their warring people to save Tiya and the kingdom, or to trust his own kind, that has been helping him all along. Battling for the rights of his people and humans, Vitiosus finds himself venturing a journey that leads him to discover the truth about himself, his people and his kingdom. He only has to keep his life, despite the fact that skulls appear everywhere he goes, warning him of the worst, his death.

OVERCAST SHADOW’S is a fast paced 89,000 word YA fantasy novel. I believe you’d be a great fit to represent my book because you work with fantasy, science fiction and YA and enjoy an action packed and intriguing narrative. Thank you for your consideration and time.

Sincerely,

Me!

So what did you think?